The testimony of Michael Cohen, President Trump’s former lawyer, before a House committee on Wednesday was almost the only thing the late-night TV hosts could talk about. In his willingness to lay blame directly at Mr. Trump’s feet, and to categorically denounce the president as a “racist” and a “con man,” Cohen delivered a wealth of head-turning sound bites, and the hosts pounced on them.
“Cohen went in front of Congress and called Trump a con man and a cheat. And then he followed it up by saying, [tearily] ‘He taught me everything I know!’” — JIMMY FALLON
Seth Meyers poked fun at Republican members of Congress who spent the hearing attacking Cohen’s credibility.
“Republican Representative Jim Jordan claimed today that Michael Cohen is only speaking out against President Trump because he is upset he was not given a job in the White House. Because everyone knows that getting a job in the White House can be a solid source of income — for weeks.” — SETH MEYERS
And Conan O’Brien lamented that there was no escaping images, sound bites and clips from the hearings.
“That’s been on TV all day long. I got up this morning, it was on, I was watching it with my kids. They were like, ‘Daddy, what’s hush money?’ I was like, ‘I’ll pay you $20 if you never ask me that again.’” — CONAN O’BRIEN
“At the very end of the hearing, Michael Cohen said he hopes his testimony ‘heals America.’ That’s what he said. Yeah, not only is Michael Cohen a bad lawyer, he’s a terrible doctor. He thought a day of this would heal us!” — CONAN O’BRIEN
Trevor Noah joked about a moment when Cohen said Trump had directed him “to threaten his high school, his colleges and the College Board to never release his grades or SAT scores.”
Noah said, sure, maybe it was a sign that Trump got bad marks. But maybe it wasn’t.
“Maybe it’s something else — maybe Trump doesn’t want anyone finding out he got an A in Spanish.” — TREVOR NOAH