Larry David: Imagining What Keeps Trump Up at Night ~ NYT

In this fictional conversation, the president chats with his wife at 3 a.m. and comes up with a tremendous idea.

By

Mr. David is a comedy writer and performer.

Credit…Kiersten Essenpreis

 

July 2019. The White House — 3 a.m. Donald Trump tosses and turns.

MELANIA: What’s wrong, Donald?

TRUMP: I can’t sleep.

MELANIA: (Turns the lamp on.) Why, what’s bothering you? You can tell me.

TRUMP: No, no. I don’t want to bother you with my problems.

MELANIA: Donald, I’m your wife. You can tell me anything.

TRUMP: O.K. … The truth is, I just can’t stop thinking about corruption in Ukraine.

MELANIA: Oh, honey.

TRUMP: It’s killing me. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep.

MELANIA: Maybe you should take a Xanax.

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