W.H.O. Is Responsible?
President Trump announced his order to stop funding the World Health Organization during a White House news briefing Tuesday, or what Jimmy Kimmel called “yesterday’s episode of The Celebrity Appresident.”
“So far, he’s blamed this on Obama, the governors, the media, the W.H.O. — has he blamed it on the Mexicans yet? No? OK, he’ll get to that.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“And even if you don’t think the W.H.O. is perfect, the middle of the pandemic — the middle of a pandemic — is not a good time to cut funding from a group that is an integral part of fighting coronavirus. Yes, the organization is not perfect, but this is not the time to cut them off. It’s the same reason you don’t give your Uber driver one star during the ride. You do that [expletive] after you are safe at home, not while you’re doing 90 on the freeway.” — TREVOR NOAH
“I think you might be projecting, sir. [as Trump] The W.H.O. dragged its feet on Covid. The W.H.O. cheated on Melania when she was home with a 3-month-old. The W.H.O. thinks they can get out of this by blaming all their screw-ups on the W.H.O. Not going to work, W.H.O.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Punchiest Punchlines (Signed, Sealed, Not Quite Delivered Edition)
“According to reports, the Treasury Department has ordered that President Trump’s name will be printed on coronavirus relief checks, which would be the first time he’s ever put his name on something helpful.” — SETH MEYERS
“That’s right, President Trump’s name will reportedly be printed on the front of paper checks for coronavirus relief payments, which will be the first time the president’s name appeared on an I.R.S. refund. President Trump’s name, however, still has yet to appear on a check to the I.R.S.” — SETH MEYERS
“Why on earth would his name be on these? They’re not from him. It’s not his money. He didn’t even put his name on the check he sent Stormy Daniels.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“These dollars are tax dollars we paid. As far as I know, he doesn’t even pay taxes. He certainly hasn’t produced any evidence of it. He’s like a drug lord giving the villagers cash on Christmas so they look the other way the rest of the year.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Now, and it turns out, the president is not legally allowed to sign checks from the I.R.S. So instead, Mnuchin decided to put the president’s name in the ‘memo’ section of the check. Still better than Trump’s alternative: tucking the cash directly into Americans’ G-strings.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Bits Worth Watching
On this week’s “Full Frontal,” Samantha Bee shared why Americans shouldn’t be so surprised by racism’s effect on people of color during the pandemic.
Phoebe Waller-Bridge, the creator and star of “Fleabag,” will video chat with Stephen Colbert on Thursday’s “A Tonight Show.”