Late Night Reluctantly Joins the John Bolton Book Club ~ The Washington Post

In his memoir, Bolton claims that Trump asked if Finland was part of Russia. Stephen Colbert said that “under President Trump, it feels like we’re kind of part of Russia.”

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Credit…CBS

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  • Double Booked

President Trump is the subject of two tell-all books coming soon: John Bolton’s forthcoming memoir and a less-than-flattering family portrait from Mary L. Trump, the president’s niece. Stephen Colbert has been flaunting his early copy of Bolton’s “The Room Where it Happened” all week, and on Wednesday’s “Late Show,” he shared some of the former national security adviser’s claims, including allegations of Trump offering favors to dictators in China and Turkey.

“John Bolton knew it was wrong to stand idly by and accept the president repeatedly obstructing justice,” Colbert said. “He knew that the right thing was to stand idly by and wait on that book deal.”

“According to Bolton, Trump’s ignorance is near-bottomless. Apparently, Trump didn’t seem to know that Britain was a nuclear power and asked if Finland were part of Russia. Now, you can understand his confusion there, because under President Trump, it feels like we’re kind of part of Russia.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“Could you imagine the president asking his advisers if Finland is part of Russia? He’s the president of the United States. This is like your mechanic asking if the muffler is part of the glove compartment.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“Yep, Bolton says he knew he had a duty to tell Americans the truth — once the check cleared for his book advance.” — JIMMY FALLON

“There’s no one, no one to root for in a Trump-versus-Bolton fight. They’re both megalomaniac sociopaths looking out for themselves. It’s a real ‘Alien vs Predator’ situation, except all you need to do to stop Alien Trump is install a ramp.” — SETH MEYERS

“Who sees their country in terrible danger from an unhinged president and goes, ‘I need to warn the people! Chapter One: I was born on a bright autumn day in 1948.’” — TREVOR NOAH

“And by the way, while Trump is fighting off this book, he’s also the subject of another tell-all book by his own niece. Yeah, apparently, Trump is considering suing her as well because, like all normal families, his niece signed an NDA in 2001. And I can’t even begin to imagine how awkward Thanksgiving is going to be for the Trump family.” — TREVOR NOAH

“Trump claims his niece’s book would violate the terms of a nondisclosure agreement he had her sign in 2001. Imagine having an NDA with your niece. That’s really all you need to know about someone.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“At this point, Trump’s sued more books than he’s read.” — JIMMY FALLON

“If the lawsuit fails, Trump has a backup plan. He is going to build a chain-link fence around every Barnes & Noble.” — JIMMY FALLON

“PepsiCo announced today they’re changing the name and logo for Aunt Jemima, because they recognize that Aunt Jemima’s origins are based on a racial stereotype. The new name will be ‘Mrs. Jemima’s Syrup That She Has Willingly Volunteered To Share.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“When the news broke, Trump was bummed ’cause Aunt Jemima was the only black woman in his cabinet.” — JIMMY FALLON

“That’s right, after 130 years, it’s officially time to pour one out for Aunt Jemima.” — TREVOR NOAH

“Now, if you don’t understand the big deal is, Aunt Jemima, from the beginning, was a classic slave ‘mammy’ stereotype who got her name from an old blackface minstrel character. And although the company has tried to strip away most of the racist stuff over the years, people still associate Aunt Jemima with ads like this one from 1945, where Aunt Jemima is saying, ‘Lawsee! Folks sho’ whoops with joy over Aunt Jemima pancakes.’ So, yeah, those ads were so racist, Trump’s probably going to appoint one to attorney general.” — TREVOR NOAH

“It’s also amazing that the brand knew that Aunt Jemima was racist, and then instead of just changing it, they chose to instead slowly phase out the racism over time.” — TREVOR NOAH

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