WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump said on Sunday that he will eventually be right about the coronavirus going away when there is no human life left on the face of the earth.
Speaking to Chris Wallace on “Fox News Sunday,” Trump said that, once there are no living humans left for it to infect, “like I have said before, the virus will just disappear, like a miracle.”
“The virus isn’t stupid,” Trump said. “It wants to infect people. And when there are no people left to infect, it’s not going to hang around doing nothing. It’s going to go away. And then I’ll be right.”
“In a way, it’s too bad that those beauties in the fake news media like Jim Acosta will be extinct at that point, because I wish they could be alive to see how I was eventually right,” he added. “But I guess you can’t have everything.”
Trump offered no timeline for the disappearance of all human life from the planet, saying only, “We’re moving quite strongly and powerfully on that.”