John Fogerty: ‘Confounding’ that Trump campaign played ‘Fortunate Son’ at rally ~ The Hill

Rock icon John Fogerty on Friday said it was “confounding” that President Trump‘s campaign would use his hit song “Fortunate Son” at a rally given the song’s blunt criticisms of class privilege during the Vietnam War.

The former Creedence Clearwater Revival frontman made a video explaining his experience writing the song after the Trump campaign played the hit while the president walked off Air Force One ahead of his rally in Freeland, Mich., on Thursday.

“I wrote the song back in 1969 at the height of the Vietnam War,” Fogerty said in a video. “By the time I wrote the song, I had already been drafted and had served in the military. And I’ve been a lifelong supporter of our guys and gals in the military, probably because of that experience.”

Fogerty said he wrote the song in part because he was “upset” about how rich people with privilege and money could avoid the draft.

“I found that very upsetting that such a thing could occur, and that’s why I wrote ‘Fortunate Son,’” he said. “That was the inspiration for the song.” 

He noted the opening lyrics of the song read, “Some folks are born made to wave the flag, ooh their red, white and blue / But when the band plays ‘Hail to the Chief,’ they point the cannon at you.”

Fogerty said that’s “exactly what happened” in Lafayette Square near the White House in June when federal officers used force to clear Black Lives Matter protesters ahead of Trump’s visit to a nearby church for a photo op.

“It’s a song I could have written now, and so I find it confusing, I would say, that the president has chosen to use my song for his political rallies, when in fact it seems like he is probably the fortunate son,” he concluded.

~~~ CONTINUE ~~~


“Other than the 245 times Trump has actually called someone a loser and a sucker on Twitter, he’d never say anything like that,” Jimmy Fallon joked in his monologue on Tuesday.

By Trish Bendix

Most of the late-night hosts were off last week and on Labor Day, so Tuesday was their first chance to riff on reports that President Trump had called American troops “losers” and “suckers.” Trump denied the allegations, first reported in The Atlantic magazine, during a news conference at the White House on Monday.

“That was a pretty crazy press conference. At one point, Trump went off on a rant attacking military leaders. Because when you’re in a scandal about calling soldiers names, the best defense is to antagonize their bosses. Trump was like, ‘This goes all the way to the top, people — whoever is the chief of all the commanders.’” — JIMMY FALLON

“Other than the 245 times Trump has actually called someone a loser and a sucker on Twitter, he’d never say anything like that.” — JIMMY FALLON

“That’s right, Trump allegedly made outrageously offensive remarks, so you know what that means — nothing happens to Trump, and Billy Bush gets fired.” — JIMMY FALLON

“I’m not sure what’s more upsetting: the comments Trump reportedly made or what he’s going to say to change the subject. [imitating Trump] ‘And that’s why we’re nuking the moon.’” — JIMMY FALLON

“Trump was reacting to the furor over The Atlantic’s bombshell report that he called Americans who died in war ‘losers’ and ‘suckers,’ which has been confirmed by multiple outlets including The A.P., CNN and even Fox News, and also by common sense. I mean, it sounds exactly like something Trump would say. He probably thinks anyone who dies is a sucker.” — SETH MEYERS

“According to a new report, President Trump canceled a 2018 visit to an American veterans cemetery in France because he was afraid his hair would get disheveled in the rain. What? When’s it ever been ‘sheveled.’” — SETH MEYERS

“This year’s wildfire season has been one of the worst in history, with dozens of fires burning a record two million acres. And now we’re finding out that one of this weekend’s biggest blazes started in one of the dumbest ways possible.” — TREVOR NOAH

“OK people, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: These gender reveals have gone too far. Ten thousand acres have burned and it’s not even the first time this kind of thing has happened. I mean, at this point, a gender reveal party is now one of the most dangerous terrorist organizations. It’s ISIS, Al Qaeda, Taylor Swift fans and gender reveal parties.” — TREVOR NOAH

“And aside from all the damage it can cause, celebrating a baby’s genitalia is starting to feel very outdated. Like, given everything we’re learning about gender, gender reveal parties should only happen when the child is old enough to know their actual gender and to pitch in some cash for the fire damage.” — TREVOR NOAH

“Oh my goodness, they used pyrotechnics. Seriously? It’s a gender reveal, not a Kiss concert.” — JIMMY FALLON

“Even people who fall off cliffs taking selfies are like, ‘What a bunch of idiots.’” — JIMMY FALLON

“Yeah, it turns out the couple is expecting six months in jail and thousands of legal fees.” — JIMMY FALLON

John Oliver Dissects Disconnect Between Republican Convention Rhetoric and Kenosha Violence ~ RollingStone

Last Week Tonight host highlights glaring disparities in how authorities treated Jacob Blake and Kyle Rittenhouse

John Oliver explored the disconnect between the Republican National Convention’s messaging on race in America and the events in Kenosha, Wisconsin, on Last Week Tonight Sunday, August 30th.

Malcolm X, Laurence Fishburne and ‘the Theater of Your Mind’ ~ NYT

The Oscar-nominated actor narrates “The Autobiography of Malcolm X” in an audiobook project he says “doesn’t change my perspective so much as it amplifies it.”

Credit…Emily Berl for The New York Times


Published in 1965, “The Autobiography of Malcolm X” was not, originally, Malcolm X’s idea.

But in 1963, Alex Haley, a writer who would later win the Pulitzer Prize for “Roots,” convinced his skeptical subject to share the story of his life. During all-night interviews in Haley’s cramped Greenwich Village studio, Malcolm X recalled his Omaha upbringing by parents who decried racism and supported Marcus Garvey’s Black nationalism; his turn to hustling and crime as a young man in New York City; and how he found, was transformed by and eventually departed from the Nation of Islam.

The resulting memoir has become a foundational document not just in the history of American civil rights, but in 20th-century thought. Asked to narrate its first-ever unabridged audiobook recording, which Audible will release Sept. 10, Laurence Fishburne — an Oscar-nominated actor whose roles have included Nelson Mandela and Justice Thurgood Marshall — knew he had a tall order ahead of him.

“I don’t think Malcolm was all that trusting of Alex Haley in the beginning,” he said in a phone interview from his home in Los Angeles. “He had to earn his trust.”

But this narrative is a testament to the intimacy they developed over time. “If I’ve done my job well,” Fishburne said, “the listener will come away feeling as if they’re Alex Haley, and Malcolm is speaking directly to them.”

In your 50 years as an actor, this is your first audiobook role. How did the format compare to performing on the screen or the stage?

It’s great. Once upon a time in this country, there was this thing called radio. I liken Audible to radio theater. It’s the reader and the listener engaged in this experience together.

And of course, none of us are able to go to any kind of theater right now.

No, but you can be in the theater of your mind.

You’ve said this role presented a “heavy responsibility” for you. What did you see as your greatest challenge in taking on this project?

Trying to capture the essence of a personage like el-Hajj Malik el-Shabazz [the name Malcolm X adopted in 1964, when he became an Orthodox Muslim] is very, very big. He was a larger-than-life figure. As he was greatly loved, he was also greatly misunderstood. The responsibility I felt was to try and illuminate his humanity as much as possible.

What a gift he gave all of us in the way in which he lived his life. To have the foresight to record his experiences here on Earth with the clarity that the had, after growing up the way he did, in that time and place and under those circumstances; after his experiences as a criminal living outside of the law, being incarcerated; being inspired and enlightened and liberated by the honorable Elijah Muhammad and Islam; and then having a change of mind about the world and the way in which he could be a part of changing it for the better. He was really an extraordinary individual. With every chapter of the book he becomes more and more human.

The first-ever unabridged audiobook recording will be released on Sept. 10.


You began recording it before George Floyd was killed, before this year’s Black Lives Matter protests. What was it like to perform Malcolm X’s words in the new context of the civil rights movement today?

The timing of this audiobook doesn’t change my perspective so much as it amplifies it, and brings it into clearer focus. This has been the major theme of my life’s work: the struggle of African-American people to be treated as first-class citizens in this country. When I started doing “Blackish,” the question I’d often get would be, “Why is it now that people are ready for this kind of show?” And I used to say, “Well, you know, I’ve been Black all my life.”

I was asked to read his book almost 30 years ago, and for reasons beyond my understanding that didn’t happen. Evidently the time is right. I just feel doubly blessed to have been asked to read his book at this moment.

How did you tackle the difficulty of mirroring the escalation in Malcolm X’s tone, as a man and as a narrator, over the course of the book?

I was blessed with a gift for the dramatic art. So my job is just to use my instrument in the service of Malcolm, the brilliant thinker and political activist, and of this brilliant writer, the wordsmith, Alex Haley.

The other secret weapon is Nicole Shelton, our director. She was my audience, and she was not just an avid listener, she was an active listener. She would stop me if even an inflection was a little wrong, and we would go back over it. We went back over things many times to get them right.


When you were growing up, your father was a prison guard. How did your own upbringing impact your reading and perception of the police brutality in this book?

Yes, my father worked with juveniles in the correctional system in New York City. His brother, my uncle, was a beat cop for years, and then he became a detective. The stress of the job was unreal — my uncle died of a massive heart attack at the age of 49, and I think most largely due to the stresses of the job. My relationship to them, and to their father, my grandfather, who was also a civil servant — he was a postal worker — gave me a clear understanding of what was permissible and what was not. There was only a certain amount of trouble I could get into, let’s put it that way.

Can you remember the first time you read this autobiography?

I remember reading this book when I was in my early 20s and feeling inspired by his journey. Someone who was so steeped in criminality, to be incarcerated as a result of a life of crime, and to use your incarceration to educate yourself? To come out a wiser, more well-spoken, thoughtful man — a full-grown man — with not just a fire in his belly but a real sense of mission to galvanize people, to open their eyes? That’s really, really inspiring.

Here’s an unanswerable question for you: Do you think society has made progress since 1965?

That’s a very good question. If I were to ask you that question, what would you say?

I would say not enough.

Right, so we can say that the answer to that question is really yes and no. We still live under systemic racism in this country. That is a fact. That has not changed. Things have changed within that system, but the system itself has not changed. And hopefully we are in a moment — and this is partly why this book is so important now, and why it may have the ability to effect more change — where it seems that more people are aware of just how much change needs to happen, and are willing to do what is necessary to create it. And that’s where things have changed.

Stephen Colbert Grills Chris Christie on Involvement With Trump Campaign ~ RollingStone

Colbert debates former New Jersey governor on Trump’s Covid-19 response, fear of a Joe Biden presidency

Former Governor of New Jersey Chris Christie appeared on The Late Show With Stephen Colbert Thursday night, where he and the host debated Christie’s recent advisory role to President Donald Trump’s re-election campaign.

“I might like you someday, and this is seriously endangering the possibility that that will happen,” Colbert quipped.

Colbert then grilled Christie on his involvement with Trump despite all of the president’s failings, including the Covid-19 crisis and his treatment of children at the Mexico border; Christie defended himself by saying he agreed more with the Republican Party’s conservative values than what he saw as an increasingly more progressive Democratic Party under Joe Biden.

During a particularly tense moment — when bringing up the United States’ Covid-19deaths  —Colbert asked Christie to give Trump a “pass/fail” or letter grade based on his response to the pandemic. Christie waffled, noting that he himself had written an op-ed in support of wearing masks and social distancing back in early March and that certain aspects of the Trump administration’s Covid-19 response, including stimulus checks and ventilator shipments, were better than others, like the delay in mandating a full shutdown of mass gatherings.

Later, Colbert asked Christie to defend his belief that a Joe Biden presidency would lead to an out-of-control progressive government: “Tell me what is so terrifying about Joe Biden. ‘Terrifying about Joe Biden’ is hard sentence to sell. It’s Joe Biden, for Pete’s sake.”

Christie expressed fears that, while he doesn’t believe Biden will back down on his stance against Medicare for All, he does think Biden can be swayed into supporting the Green New Deal, which Christie believes would tank the economy on top of increased taxes and other Democrat-led policies.

Before Christie departed, Colbert made a quick dig at former Trump advisor Steve Bannon, who was recently arrested on charges of fraud. “Will you go visit Steve Bannon in prison?” Colbert asked Christie. The former governor surprised Colbert and his team with one last quip of his own: “I wouldn’t visit Steve if he lived next door to me — that guy’s a bum.”

The hippie American translator: I am rather fluent in ancient Chinese ~China Global Television Network

An old amigo of Colin Mitchell
Hippie, American, and translator of Tao Te Ching?
For an average Chinese, these traits are hard to imagine in one person. But for the Chinese friends of Gar Charles Kerbel, an American who goes by the Chinese name Dai Ling, these are characteristics that make him an interesting character.
It is not easy to get a hold of Dai Ling. Living in the depths of Xiaozhushan, an area of little-known hills and mountains in the southwest part of Qingdao City, east China’s Shandong Province, he sticks to a life without smartphones or mobile navigation. Being in the mountains, he contends, also helps him keep a clear mind, which, when it comes to understanding and translating an ancient China’s philosophical classic such as the Tao Te Ching, makes a lot of sense.

Dai Ling talks about his version of the Tao Te Ching translation. /CGTN Photo
Dai Ling first started translating the Taoism classic as a means to study Chinese, but slowly and steadily he managed to finish the translation in 10 years, confident that his modern international English version of the Tao Te Ching stands out from the other translations that are either written in outdated English or by non-native English speakers.
Interestingly, when asked about his understanding of Taoism, Dai Ling said there was really no way to answer the question, as he believes it is the teaching of no words. But he is nonetheless excited to share his discovery that some principles within the Tao Te Ching match up perfectly with modern science.

Dai Ling’s drawing about what he believes to be the correlation between Tao Te Ching and modern science. /CGTN Photo
For instance, now we know every atom is composed of quarks, and all modern scientists agree that every quark in the universe disappears about a trillion times every second and then re-appears, but 2,500 years ago Lao Tsu said nothingness or non-being create being, being created Dao, Dao made one, one made two, and three made the ten thousand myriad things. So Lao Tsu was correct, because every quark disappears and everything comes from non-being. And modern science says big bang made the first element hydrogen, which has only one electron, and then hydrogen electrons created the second element helium, which has two electrons, and after helium, a supernova created heavy elements and life.”
Dai Ling first came to China as an English teacher and settled down in Qingdao city after his original plan to go to Qufu to study Confucius failed due to a lack of jobs. Perhaps he sees himself more as a hippy than a hermit. He and his drummer friend — a band called the Tsingtao Duos — have translated their love for the city and Chinese philosophy into a few songs they will soon publish.

Having finished translating the Tao Te Ching, Dai Ling said he has been approached by Kong Lingshao, the 76th generation descendant of Confucius, for a new translation of the Analects of Confucius, an opportunity that he is very thrilled about.

Trump RNC speech with Trevor Noah ~ NYT

On the final night of the RNC, President Trump gave the most boring speech of his career, Melania threw shade at Ivanka, Joe Biden was made out to be the prelude to a socialist nightmare, and no one seemed to care about coronavirus.

3 Jazz Greats Reflect On Charlie Parker’s Enduring Influence ~ Fresh Air



Fresh Air listens back to archival interviews with Max Roach and trumpeter Red Rodney, two musicians who played with Parker; and alto saxophonist Jackie McLean, who considered Parker a mentor.



This is FRESH AIR. Tomorrow marks the centennial of the birth of Charlie Parker, who was one of the originators of bebop in the 1940s. One of his musical peers was the late drummer Max Roach, who played on many of Parker’s most important recordings beginning in the mid-’40s. Roach was one of the most influential drummers in the history of modern jazz, playing with Clifford Brown, Thelonious Monk, Sonny Rollins, Duke Ellington, Charles Mingus and Abbey Lincoln, to whom he was married for many years. That’s just a partial list. He was awarded a MacArthur Genius Grant in 1988. Roach died in 2007. I spoke with him on FRESH AIR in 1987.


GROSS: I’d like to talk about your life a little bit. You got your start, I think, playing in Coney Island for – at sideshows. Is that right?

MAX ROACH: That’s true. We used to do sometimes 12, 14 shows a day. And we’d have a barker outside. It was a barker who would say come on in. And the girls would go out and shake a little bit, and then public would come in. And we do, say, a 40-minute show and have 20 minutes off and they’d go back out – real sideshow. I enjoyed it.

GROSS: What kind of music did you play?

ROACH: Well, we played everything from small group versions of Khachaturian pieces where we – where the fire-eaters would – the ladies would dance and put fire all over themselves. And the comedian would say a few jokes. And a lot of fine musicians, dancers and choreographers had to do that for a living. I did it during the summers, you know? And yeah.

GROSS: You were a teenager then.

ROACH: Teenager – and that was it. You know, in order to master, I guess, your instrument, you have to do everything. I played with the local symphony orchestra. I played Coney Island sideshows and played with marching bands.

GROSS: Were you different than the other drummers who were playing in the same kinds of bands you were at the time? Did you know that you were doing something different?

ROACH: No. I’m – only – I grew up in Brooklyn, N.Y. So it’s right next door, of course, to Manhattan. I think we all did the same things. Some of the guys dropped out. Some people – they got married or went to the post office or whatever. But there was some marvelous music – I grew up with some marvelous musicians.

GROSS: How did you first meet some of the people who you became very close with and made now classic music together with? I’m thinking of Charlie Parker and Dizzy Gillespie. Did they find you? Did you find them?

ROACH: Well, Dizzy Gillespie heard me in a jam session in a place called Monroe’s Uptown House. Clark Monroe was the brother-in-law of Billie Holiday’s first husband, Jimmy Monroe. And he was like a – kind of a patron for young talent in these after-hour clubs. These after-hour clubs would open up at 4 in the morning and go until 8. So we could work those places and still go to school – Bud Powell and a crowd of us. Well, he heard me. He was with Cab Calloway when he heard me. He said, someday when I get my own band – when I leave Cab Calloway, I would like for you to play for me. That’s how I met Dizzy, and Dizzy got – introduced me to Coleman Hawkins, and I got my first record date.

And Dizzy was kind of like the catalyst of that whole movement that we call bebop. You know, he brought Charlie Parker. He discovered – in a way, you know, he brought Charlie Parker to New York and Bud Powell and all these wonderful people. He kind of had a group around him, you know? And I was just fortunate enough to be part of that. But that’s how I really got started.

GROSS: You were one of the first drummers to play bebop. And you were one of the first people to figure out how to drum in the kind of fiery sessions that were being played. What were some of the challenges that that presented to you?

ROACH: Well, when they played fast, they played very fast. It was a period where instrumental virtuosity was – in our area – prevailed because during the war, you know, we had an extra – the Second World War – we had an extra 20% cabaret tax. It was very complex. To put it very simply, it was – if an entrepreneur hired, he had to pay for – say, he had to pay a city tax. Like, in New York, he had to pay a state tax and a federal tax. And upon that, he had – up on that – on top of that, he had to pay a 20% government tax called entertainment tax if he had a singer, if he had public dancing or dancing on a stage or a comedian.

This really heralded the demise of big bands during that time. This tax was just awful, you know? So the people who really got the jobs were the virtuoso instrumentalists. Everybody went home and practiced, practiced, practiced. And then that was the beginning of bebop – like, the people who – so Charlie Parker and Dizzy and Shearing. The virtuoso players were the ones who people would come and sit down. Everybody began to sit and listen to the music rather than get up and dance to it. That was the beginning of it.

GROSS: What rhythms had you been playing before? And what rhythms did you shift into playing once you started playing bop because you really had to – you had to invent new rhythms. You had to invent new styles.

ROACH: Yeah. Well, I also – I had help, too. I had a lot of help. My mentors were people like Big Sidney Catlett and Chick Webb and Jo Jones with the Count Basie band. For folks who don’t know, these were people who played with Louis Armstrong and – Sidney Catlett did and later went with Benny Goodman. Sidney Catlett took Gene Krupa’s place when Krupa started his own band. But all these folks, they were doing pretty much the same thing but only in large band contexts. When you played in a small band, you had to do more. More was required of you because there were less people. It was like playing in a string quartet vis-a-vis a symphony orchestra. It’s much more interesting for the individual player. Of course, an orchestra’s interesting for the composer and the conductor and the soloist.

But when you play in a smaller context, everybody has to do more to fill up the sound. So this was required of us, actually. I don’t think we were aware of it except in that first small band I worked in. The first was Dizzy’s. I worked in small bands, of course, all around the city at that time. But Dizzy was the one that – his band with Charlie Parker and Oscar Pettiford and Bud Powell or Charles Mingus, that was a real – all the virtuoso people got together. And that’s – and we knew that you – everybody had to be kind of busy. So consequently, there were – you heard more drums. You heard more piano. You heard more this and that and the other to fill it out. That’s to put it very simply, of course (laughter).

GROSS: Right. Well, to put it less simply, we’ll hear some of what you were playing, then.

ROACH: Thank you.


GROSS: This is from the mid-1940s, and this is my guest Max Roach as recorded with Miles Davis and Charlie Parker. And we’re going to hear “Ko-Ko.”


GROSS: That was “Ko-Ko.” It was recorded in 1945 with my guest, Max Roach, on drums and Miles Davis on trumpet, Charlie Parker on alto saxophone. Does it bring back memories for you? Do you listen back to that much?

ROACH: It sure does. Charlie Parker at that time, as well as Dizzy, the music was very, very fresh. And I guess you would equate it with what we hear today from people like Anthony Braxton, at least they treated us that way. We were the new breed on the scene. And they would say things, well, like – the critics would say, Dizzy sounds like he’s playing with a mouthful of marbles. And Charlie Parker was playing scales from a saxophone both – just only scales. And Max Roach dropped bombs. I don’t know (laughter) but it was interesting. But Powell had no left hand. And it was, you know, we were criticized. But some of it was valid, I thought. You know…

GROSS: Really?

ROACH: …We had a long way to go, you know?

GROSS: My interview with Max Roach was recorded in 1987. He died in 2007. After a short break, we’ll continue our tribute to Charlie Parker with interviews from our archive featuring two other musicians who had a close association with Parker, trumpeter Red Rodney and saxophonist Jackie McLean. I’m Terry Gross. And this is FRESH AIR.

~~~  CONTINUE  ~~~

Late Night Savors Steve Bannon’s Arrest (and His Photo) ~ NYT

The former Trump adviser has been charged with fraud, but the hosts seemed almost as interested in his current look. Seth Meyers called him a “baked-potato Fabio.”



The big news on late night Thursday was the arrest of the former Trump adviser Steve Bannon. He’s accused of skimming funds from an online campaign that promised to help build President Trump’s border wall.

“A crowdsourced fund-raiser to build a [expletive] wall in the middle of the desert?” marveled Seth Meyers, who thought it had clearly been a scam from the start. “The thing was one rung below those companies that claim to name a star after you.”

“Hey, you guys remember Steve Bannon, the white nationalist slash giant pimple who ran Trump’s campaign, then worked in his White House and helped engineer such odious policies as the Muslim ban and publicly defended the horrific family separation policy? Often wore two shirts when one would have sufficed? You know, the dude who had a crazy-person whiteboard in his office with policies scrawled on it like ‘Suspend immigration from terror-prone regions,’ ‘implement new extreme vetting techniques’ and ‘suspend the Syrian refugee program’? I’m shocked it also didn’t include ‘Brunch with Slender Man’ and ‘Kill the Batman.’” — SETH MEYERS

“You know, Steve Bannon, the gentleman who currently looks like a guy selling exotic reptiles on the Venice Beach boardwalk.” — SETH MEYERS

“I can’t believe this — another Trump guy has been arrested? After the Aryan Brotherhood and Latin Kings, the largest prison gang in America might be the former Trump campaign officials.” — TREVOR NOAH

“And everything about this story is insane. First of all, Bannon was arrested on a 150-foot yacht. And I know everyone is innocent until proven guilty, but I mean, let’s be real: anyone arrested on a yacht, I mean, you’re guilty.” — TREVOR NOAH

“He’s accused of stealing money from people who thought they were donating to build Donald Trump’s wall — because you know, you wouldn’t want criminals sneaking into the country.” — TREVOR NOAH

“This is the perfect encapsulation of the Trump era. From beginning to end, the wall was a nonstop scam. Trump scammed his supporters by telling them Mexico would pay for it, then we ended up paying for it. Then this baked-potato Fabio over here said he’d raise money for it, then scammed everyone again by allegedly skimming money from it. It’s a Russian nesting doll of fraud. I can’t wait until Bannon raises money for his legal defense fund and we find out he lost it all on the racetrack.” — SETH MEYERS

“I don’t know where I stand on this story. I don’t. On the one hand, I’m angry that he defrauded these people. On the other hand, he defrauded people who were donating to build Trump’s border wall and, therefore, deprive immigrants of just seeking out a better life. I don’t know what to think. It’s a weird sensation. I’m happy about both.” — JAMES CORDEN

“The money was used to fund a lavish lifestyle, which, if you are Steve Bannon, means morphing into a way too tan Russell Crowe.” — JAMES CORDEN

“Seriously, Trump has enough criminals around him for a[expletive] ‘Ocean’s Eleven’ remake.” — SETH MEYERS

“I don’t know, maybe these charges are nothing. I mean, does Steve Bannon look guilty to you? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, he definitely does. Just so you know, by the way, that’s how he looked before he got arrested. He looks like someone you find sleeping in the bathroom stall at Margaritaville.” — JIMMY FALLON

“He looks like an unemployed Martha Washington impersonator.” — JIMMY FALLON

“He looks like a guy who yells at Little Leaguers when he doesn’t have a kid on the team.” — JIMMY FALLON

“He looks like every composite photo of what Elvis would look like if he were alive today.” — JIMMY FALLON

“He looks like every guy who’s ever tried to sell me a Jacuzzi.” — JIMMY FALLON

“He looks like every guy at the hotel hot tub who sits way too close to your wife.” — JIMMY FALLON

“He looks like every man who’s ever walked into a Ferrari dealership.” — JIMMY FALLON

“He looks like his home address is the swim-up bar at the Mirage.”— JIMMY FALLON

In his fourth and final night of live shows focused on the Democratic National Convention, Stephen Colbert made a passionate case for Joe Biden.