“You’re launching your re-election campaign? You’ve been running for re-election since your second day in office. You talk about 2020 more than a guy who just got Lasik.” — SETH MEYERS
“His supporters started lining up nearly two full days before the event. Apparently he hasn’t brought all of America’s jobs back, considering this is a Tuesday.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“So many people are showing up that not everyone was able to get into the facility. So, there are big screens outside the venue, and before the event, they held an all-day ‘45 Fest.’ Yes, 45 Fest. MAGA-palooza. Old-chella.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“He’s doing more for the people at his rally in Orlando than he did for all of Puerto Rico after the hurricane.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
One of Trump’s tweets suggested that the only people who can draw crowds like he does are those who “play a guitar.”
“Trump really wanted a big crowd for this. He was pushing it like a co-worker with an improv show.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“He sees himself as a rock star, you know. [Imitating Trump, to the tune of Billy Idol’s ‘White Wedding’] ‘It’s a nice day for a white rally.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
BAMIYAN, Afghanistan — Here is a reminder to someone with the initials A.B., who on March 8 climbed inside the cliff out of which Bamiyan’s two giant Buddhas were carved 1,500 years ago.
In a domed chamber — reached after a trek through a passageway that worms its way up the inside of the cliff face — A.B. inscribed initials and the date, as hundreds of others had in many scripts, then added a little heart.
It’s just one of the latest contributions to the destruction of the World Heritage Site of Bamiyan’s famous Buddhas.
The worst was the Taliban’s effort in March 2001, when the group blasted away at the two giant statues, one 181 feet and the other 125 feet tall, which at the time were thought to be the two biggest standing Buddhas on the planet.
It took the Taliban weeks, using artillery and explosive charges, to reduce the Buddhas to thousands of fragments piled in heaps at the foot of the cliffs, outraging the world.
Since then, the degradation has continued, as Afghanistan and the international community have spent 18 years debating what to do to protect or restore the site, with still no final decision and often only one guard on duty.
One recent idea came from a wealthy Chinese couple, Janson Hu and Liyan Yu. They financed the creation of a Statue of Liberty-size 3D light projection of an artist’s view of what the larger Buddha, known as Solsol to locals, might have looked like in his prime.
The image was beamed into the niche one night in 2015; later the couple donated their $120,000 projector to the culture ministry.
The local authorities bring it out on special occasions, but rarely, as Bamiyan has no city power supply, other than fields of low-capacity solar panels. The 3D-image projector is power-hungry and needs its own diesel generator.
Most of the time, the remains of the monument are so poorly guarded that anyone can buy a ticket ($4 for foreigners, 60 cents for Afghans), walk in and do pretty much whatever he wants. And many do.
Souvenir-hunters pluck pieces of painted stucco decorations from the network of chambers or take away chunks of fallen sandstone. Graffiti signatures, slogans, even solicitations for sex abound.
Anyone can, as A.B. did, crawl through the passagewayssurrounding the towering niches in the cliff, through winding staircases tunneled into the sandstone and up steps with risers double the height of modern ones, as if built for giants.
At the end of this journey, you arrive above the eastern niche, which housed the smaller Buddha, and stand on a ledge just behind where the statue’s head once was, taking in the splendid Buddha’s eye view of snow-capped mountains and the lush green valley far below.
The soft sandstone of the staircases crumbles underfoot, so that the very act of climbing them is at least in part a guilty pleasure — though no longer very dangerous. Twisted iron banisters set in the stone make the steep inclines and windows over the precipices more safely navigable, if not as authentically first millennium.
Roaring Fork monk and corrosopondent, Edgar Boyles